A Jamaican Point of View

What if I could change things in Jamaica? There are several things that I would change immediately. I have tried to list them below.

Road and Street Signs

As for “Stop Signs” they would become “Approach with Caution” everyone has right of way. I am not sure what this would do to motor vehicle accident rate but this would surely solve the road rage issue. Of course there would be signs posted at several points “Pedestrian venture at your own risk”. Sidewalks would be an extra lane and soft shoulder would become the passing lane. As for “Stop Lights” there would be two shades of light, Red for stop at your own risk and Green for make way for fast vehicles.

Street Signs would be replaced by “Dutty Wine” boulevard or “Passa Passa Lane. Every month there would be a change in street names, depending on which political party is in power or the current ruling don, or perhaps the latest dance style. Imagine “Hot Wuk” Road. Streets would no longer have street numbers but would use cell phone number as the address. For example 100-10000 Dutty Wine Boulevard would be a typical address.

Language

Jamaican patois would be the official language as English is today. All parliamentary proceedings would have to be conducted in Jamaican patois. The speaker of the house would open the parliament like this “Hail Bredens and Sistas as wi buk up todey fi dis Passa Passa memba dat yuh crissas pack up outside..

Holidays

The number of public holidays would be increased significantly. There would be a Passa Passa day with all government employees getting a box of Red Stripe to celebrate. We would have Bounty Killa day, Beenie Man day. Of course being religious as I am, the churches would get to submit their own official days. Employees could apply for beach day or after hot wuk tired day. I am sure productivity would increase significantly.

Guns

Abolish all permits for Guns. Every Jamaican adult could legally bear arms and this includes assault rifle. Imagine what the gunman would think as he approaches your house to kick off your door. Some little hungry belly gunman would think twice.

Employee Benefits

Employee benefits or lack thereof is always an issue in Jamaica. Starting with all government agencies I would introduce the “Take Your Work Home” benefit plan. Employees could now legally take home computers, office meat or sugar or government cars on weekends. Now there would be no issue for policemen to drive their girlfriend to work or visiting their relatives in the country in police cars.

Life in Jamaica is complex but sometimes changes bring the best out of us.

Disclaimer
If I have made grammatical errors, I apologize. Please note they may have been unintentional or a reflection of my lack of formal education.

Walk Good